How much is “not that much in the thousands”?

Just when you thought it was safe for celebrities to dibble dabble their fabulous selves in politics, there goes Bono musing about Ato Meles’ psychological defects- of which, admittedly, there are plenty. Ethiopundit stitches up Bono’s tattered reasoning very succinctly in a beautiful piece, Earth to Bono. Just in case you want to refer DATA to the article, you can use their online form, here. And in case Bono is reading this, I ain’t no psychologist but I think what Ato Meles is suffering from is what you call your… schizophrenia. If I may:

December 5, 2005

International communities have now warned that they are considering suspending aid if their concerns are not addressed. This does not seem to disturb the prime minister.

And… wait for it… wait…

I believe we deserve… assistance from our friends but if our friends feel otherwise I respect their decision. After all, it’s their money.

And then the medication must have run out because…

February 1, 2006

Ethiopia's prime minister on Wednesday accused donors of "a breach of trust" for stopping direct budget aid over a crackdown on opposition supporters, saying his government had held up its end of the bargain.

Meles Zenawi told Reuters Ethiopia's arrest and trial of opposition leaders on treason and genocide was strictly following principles of law and democracy which his nation was trying to nurture.

Could our prime minister please, please, please stop nurturing us so much? Shoot! And no, I don’t mean that literally.

Interestingly,

Budget support to Ethiopia was conditioned on a number of terms the country had to meet in 2004 and 2005, he said, referring to economic and other criteria.

"We've taken those steps and the donors have agreed in good time that we did take those steps ... but as far as the current budget is concerned there was a breach of trust and that, in my view, was committed by our development partners," Meles said.

Hm. Here’s the latest from Human Rights Watch:

The Ethiopian government is using intimidation, arbitrary detentions and excessive force in rural areas of Ethiopia to suppress post-election protests and all potential dissent, Human Rights Watch said today after a research trip to Addis Ababa and the Oromia and Amhara regions.

“The Ethiopian government is violently suppressing any form of protest and punishing suspected opposition supporters,” said Peter Takirambudde, director of Human Rights Watch's Africa Division. “Donor governments should insist on an independent, credible investigation into abuses by federal police and local officials in rural as well as urban areas.”

Did Prime Minister Meles misunderstand the terms of the deal? It was: do NOT violently suppress people, torture them and arbitrarily detain them, and we’ll throw money your way. Note the “not”.

You’ve probably been saying to yourself, “Boy, we haven’t heard too much from the new Information Minister, one Birhan Hailu, these days. Wonder how’s he’s handling the pressure of defending EPRDF policies?” Fear not. Like herpes, Ato Birhanu might disappear on occasions, but just when you think he’s gone for good, there he is majorly cramping your style.

Everyone, please. Silence while an Ethiopian government official utters copyrighted absurdities.

Ethiopia Denies Protesters Are Wrongly Detained

“Those people have the right to protest but protest under the rule of law. They are under [sic] jail because they were acting unlawfully. They were trying to topple the government using unlawful means, which was against the constitution. So the case is now out of the hand of government, and it is [being] handled by the court. The case should be finalized through the due process of law, and based on the decision of the court, those detainees may be released or they may be sentenced.”

Yes. They are under jail because they were acting unlawfully. That’s all you need to know. What constitutes unlawful behavior in Ethiopia these days? Whatever the hell the EPRDF thinks is unlawful behavior, that’s what. Now that is a pretty lawful state of mind.

On the latest Amnesty International report that the Ethiopian government has unlawfully detained Ethiopian students of Oromo descent, Ato Birhan demonstrated the standard Ethiopian government issued berserkville posturing:

“Well, those reports are very much exaggerated. There are people we have in jail but the number is small, not that much in thousands.

Does any part of an Information Minister’s job actually include furnishing information? And seriously? We have a government that says “There are people we have in jail but the number is small, not that much in thousands”!! I ain’t no mathematician, but how much is “not that much in the thousands”? And speaking of math, for those of you wondering if there is a minimum IQ requirement to join the Ethiopian government, you now have your answer: No there is not a minimum. But there is a maximum. And the number is small.

Speaking of schizophrenia:

“The situation in the country is stable, and both the political and economic situation is in good condition.”

You see? No problem. So the Prime Minister shouldn’t be indignant about supposed breached trusts? Birhan, draft a memo. “Your Excellency: The situation in the country is stable, and both the political and economic situation is in good condition. Please don’t worry. If you need me, I will be at the Commercial Bank of Ethiopia—withdrawing the little savings, not that much in the thousands, that I have been able to amass. Yours truly… etc.”

No interview with an Ethiopian official is complete without the requisite Diaspora bashing. Asked about the demonstration in Washington DC, Ato Birhan left no cliché unturned. Speak, oh ye of little vocabulary:

Those people in the Diaspora should to have [sic] understand the reality here in Ethiopia and the situation in Ethiopia is very calm and stable. Their concern over there does not bring any change in the country. In fact, those who are against the government and… do not understand the real situation of the country so they don’t being any significant impact on the country.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: why does the Diaspora refuse to understand that random killings, arrests, torture and beating are signs of a stable and calm government? What part of shooting a mother in front of her children is does not scream “democracy” to you? Nitpick, pick-pick-pick!

Does anyone else miss Bereket Simon because the new guy seems unmotivated to me.

So…

Ambassador Jendayi Frazer is back from Addis. She was on ‘Straight Talk Africa.’ I wish I could say there was something new there… U.S ‘pressuring’ Prime Meles to release “some” of those in jail, and giving the rest due process of law. Hm. I don’t think our fearless leader quite knows how to do that. Can people who put thousands of people in jail without due process in the first place learn about due process of law and fair and speedy trials ex post facto? I guess Ato Meles is being asked to start practicing democracy on those who were undemocratically arrested? Let us know how that turns out, willya? I wonder what the State Department will say if after the ‘trials’ Ato Meles sends the jailed opposition leaders and journalists to death. “We are pressuring Prime Minister Meles to use humane methods to end the lives of people who have gone through due process of law.”

Charming.

The Ambassador said she met with members of the opposition during her trip to Addis who told her that their supporters in the Diaspora didn’t want them to join the parliament. A clearly agitated caller, Tedla from New York, called in to remind Ms. Frazer that it was the Ethiopian people who didn’t want their representatives to join the parliament, not the Diaspora… especially since Ato Meles, in one of his famously infamous hissy fits, changed the parliament rules which now state that only the party that has a 51% majority can put forward bills. So, Tedla from New York wanted to know, why is the US financing the Meles government? He finished by asking that the US give Ato Meles asylum.

Hel-lo! Sweet Jesus, no. Imagine running into Ato Meles in a DC restaurant just as you are about to bite into a piping hot piece of godin tbs! No, thank youuuu. There are a few spots open in Harare.

Speaking of the Diaspora, … didja see the pictures from the February 1 protest? Yaaaaawzah! In a true sign that the Ethiopian case is getting traction in Washington, Donald Yamamoto, Chris Smith, Congressman Dana Rohrabacher , Congressman Chris Smith (all hail!) and Reverend Joseph Lowery spoke to the crowd. Ethiopia Media Forum kept posting live updates of the march and even loaded some of the speeches the same day. Loving the technology, and thank you very much. Nazret.com doesn’t have pictures posted yet, but I’m sure a video snippet or two will soon surface. And this time the Washington Times decided that thousands of people marching in DC was worth investigating. Does anyone know if the local TV stations covered it? (By the way, where were representatives and senators from Maryland and Virginia?)

This was huge for the Diaspora. Huge! The Diaspora has found its voice. And man, it is loud. Now I know Ato Birhan thinks this is ineffective, but this is how civilized people petition their governments… And look, no arrests! More importantly, no killings of demonstrators.

Think about it. Draft a memo.

Have a great weekend everbody.