By way of an explanation...
Where was I?
The first day the kids played in snow in their own backyard it was fun. The second day was… fu-nn? By the third day it was, “Okay, we are ready to go back home.”
No, no darlings. Remember when mommy and daddy packed all those boxes and went crazy for a while?
And remember when we sad goodbye to Brandon and his mommy-- who was glad to see us leave because she hates everything and everybody?
And remember when we said goodbye to grandmother-in-law who thinks her grandson could have done much better?
Well, all of that was because we were moving. Remember we talked about moving?
Well, this is your new home now. Remember, you said you liked your new house? It has a red door. You love that, don't you?
We want to go back to our real house.
Oh, little darlings. We are home.
Child #1: No we’re not.
Child #2: No we ‘ot!
Oh, my lovelies. This is a much better place. There is less silicone. More intellect. Something called a highway. And didn’t you like the people who brought you cookies when we first moved?
You see? And daddy’s closer to his fantasy woman- Condi, who he thinks I don’t know about.
I mean, PTA moms don’t hate mommy yet. And remember we saw a “Give peace a chance” bumper sticker on that limo? Wasn’t that exciting?
You see? Sooo?
Child #1: Yeah. We want to go back to our real house.
Child #2: Yeah. We wanna kagawannabanga ‘ahwse.
Child #2: Gogomeet!
Child #1: I thought you said you were not going to curse any more…
I am not, light of my life. Let’s go get us some of that lovely cough medicine. Remember, the one that makes us sleepy….
So, there you go.
In the midst of all of that debacle we lost Uncle “Can summarize world events in seven words or less.” Took the wind out of me. Made it to
I am loving the Yemi at Don’t Eat My Buchela!
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