Saturday, November 19, 2005

Wonqville Classified Ads


Not that I have any business helping out Prime Minister Meles, but I figure he’s busy these days packing and attending to every-day details such as how many people to imprison in the name of upholding Ethiopia’s constitution. A despot’s work is never done. Besides, I am sure his PR machinery, ineptly led by Bereket “Darth Vader” Simon, is working overtime these days trying to keep the ferenjies from getting amnesia—“Meles who?”

So, in the spirit of expediting the good Prime Minister’s hightailing to Zimbabwe-like destinations, here is a draft of the classified ad he will want to run once he realizes Ethiopia is no longer hospitable to his… democracy.

No. Please. You’re welcome.


WANTED:

Modern Day Machiavellian Looking for Paradise “Retreat”

One of Africa’s “most enlightened leaders” seeking new place to call home.

After introducing a new brand of democracy to one ancient but deserving country, this award-winning enlightened leader is looking to…retire in style.

Needs:

Accommodation must be large enough to lodge large entourage of fawning underlings

Environment must be devoid of reality and hostile to coherent thought process of any kind

Premium security (“fortified fortress”) and high secrecy a must. Will provide own private army trained in drop-kicking bystanders

Neighbors must not mind occasional rounds of AK-47s ringing through the pristine air

Must allow pets and/or Ministers of Information

Host state must guarantee non-extradition (will pay extra)

Will be available for the lecture circuit: “How to get the West to feed your people”

Host state’s political milieu and government-owned media must accommodate occasional, bellicose tempter tantrums geared towards “enlightening” and “educating” the unwashed masses

Enlightened leader also willing to trade considerable “vote counting” talents for access to Tina Turner CDs

Host country must have experience hosting previous, um, strong-minded African leaders who have been moved to seek a new home because they were unappreciated by an ingrate population who just can’t seem to comprehend the enlightened leader’s wisdom, democratic inclinations and overall paternal love—bastards, one and all!

References:

Jimmy Carter- best friend and long-time admirer
Jeffrey Sachs- world-renowned economist and bone fide groupie
Tony Blair- non-judgmental friend and generous funder
The entire AU- most effective organization Africa has had
Robert Mugabe- friend and fellow misunderstood autocrat
Mengistu Haile Mariam- fellow champion of “emerging democracies”

Interested states please contact Menelik Palace, West Wing, Addis Abeba. Please keep all inquires confidential. Money no object.

18 Comments:

Anonymous tada! said...

wonQ,

you are a public servant. i know this is a draft, but maybe you add: "natives must be encouraged not to look at enlightened leader in the eye, nor touch him without prior written permission."

6:47 AM, November 20, 2005  
Anonymous assiyo said...

you and your neftegna kind, because if your "zebegna" and ypour life in absinniya. you amharas think its all yourse. well, that time is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you can't go nowere now. i am shure your 'zebegna' , the poor fellow who is probably still serving yours. he will probably spit on you and yourse, and curse you. amharas are the frighten. like yourse zebegna, the time has come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ethiopia is for ethiopians!!!!!

8:16 AM, November 20, 2005  
Anonymous ETW said...

assiyo:

thank you for your brilliant insight.

question- which zebegna are you referring to? the day shift or the night shift? we had two.

keep on keeping on

8:21 AM, November 20, 2005  
Anonymous Waka said...

Miskin Assiyo!.

Did you finish third grade? or woyane`s Harvard-civic college?.You are little worse than those AIGA phDs.
Let me give you some humble advice:
Do not hate Amharas as people. They do not hate Tigres. they hate Tplf and supporters. You know very well, if your little brain, which cannot spell third grade vocabulary, enables you to think that all tigrians are NOT, with your murderer leader and his pets like you.You TPLFites have shown your hatred for Amharas is congenital or consuming envy.You are hated and despised by all Ethiopians, Oromos, Amharas, Gurages, Sidamas, Kafas etc.. Because of your insatiable greed and control of ALL economic sectors in the nation, nepotism, cronysm, cruelty-Never seen in Ethiopian history, narrow tribalstic behaviour and of course your ignorance and arrogance. Trust me you will not last long.As Wonkette advised you , pack up and think where to retire for Ethiopia is not your retirement place , lest you will sleep on blood you shade for all this years. I hope you can understand it.

May God help you having human heart!

9:28 AM, November 20, 2005  
Blogger EthiopianPolitics said...

hahaha, 2 zebeghas....good one.

no need arguing with this morons.

10:39 AM, November 20, 2005  
Anonymous wegesha said...

etw, great response to the one whose name starts with "ass". You have to admire those who don't hide their true identity. To be fair, I think assiyo was pissed you made your zebegnas work 12 hour shifts when it is clearly inhumane to extend the work day a minute over 8 hours. So I have to agree with the "ass" on this one. ETW, you lose this round.

11:27 AM, November 20, 2005  
Anonymous pollster said...

Guys,guys be gentle with ass-iyo. Ass-iyo is brave or desperate enough to wonder in to weichegud. It is like Bin Laden visiting abugarade prison. In contrast with AIGA or Medrek, weichegud is the only place where these guys feel ass naked. You should be nice to them so that they keep coming and take the message back to aigavill. So no name calling. Let’s put the ass back into Assiyo.

2:42 PM, November 20, 2005  
Blogger DaEBushu said...

Let wonqitees’ code of conduct prevail, take the high ground.
No point of responding to that… though it is very tempting.

Before this “oasis” turns to a swamp, surprised it lasted this long, Wonq, I suggest wak-ing those non substantive comments (not dissenting thoughts) to stop the chain that follows. Direct them to a place they can be tolerated such as the once suggested above, so that they can sharpen their pen and gather their thought in away wonqitees’ can understand and respond appropriately. I was so lost just after “you and your… yada yada”. Instead post a message like “sent to the lala land” or send them to oblivious. I know you’ll come up with good one… but don’t expose us to this… had enough. don’t let it happen to Wonqville.

4:55 PM, November 20, 2005  
Blogger kuchiye said...

Wonq:

Activities in DC are heading at breathtaking pace...phew! There were 5 quality programs yesterday and one amazing fundraiser this afternoon. It is heart warming to witness the youth of Ethiopia taking active part in their country's affair. Never have we seen so many young people showing up in Diaspora politics.

Shakespeare Feyissa, the lawyer who mishandled Meles's lawyers in the Tensae Radio case is not only young but dynamic, well composed and totally committed. He addressed about a 1,000 Ethiopians at the fundraiser and received standing ovation. He challenged all Ethiopian lawyers in the US to get together and bring the villains to court. Over $100,000 was raised at the event!!

Trust me, Ye Ethiopia Tensae is just around the corner!

10:42 PM, November 20, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh ASSiyo... hahaha... good to know you had the courage to show fara-dom is still alive and kicking in Ethiopia (soon in said retreat.) Ahhhhhh... that was good light relief

12:00 AM, November 21, 2005  
Anonymous xaxitu said...

See, some good things do come out of Haaa-vaad:

Dear Fellow Students,



Please take a moment to respond to the unfortunate events occurring
in
Ethiopia. For those not aware, recent elections resulted in an
extremely
strong showing by opposition parties, but the sitting Ethiopian
government
is using tactics of electoral fraud, violence against politicians
and
ordinary citizens alike, and detainment of political opponents to
maintain a
grip on power.



More information and updates are available at

http://ethiopianreview.homestead.com



Members of the Harvard community are particularly focused on the
plights of
Professor Mesfin Woldemariam , Professor Berhanu Nega, and Dr. Yacob
Hailemariam, supporters of the Ethiopian opposition Coalition for
Unity and
Democracy. This month all three, along with hundreds of others, have
been
detained by the government in federal prison. In detention they are
at risk
of torture and lack access to sufficient medical care. Their ties to
the
academic community - and the Harvard community in particular - have
prompted
several schools at the university to advocate for their protection
and
release.



Professor Mesfin was a Scholar at Risk fellow at the DuBois
Institute for
African and African American Studies at Harvard in 2002. He is the
founder
of the Ethiopian Human Rights Council and a strong supporter of the
Ethiopian opposition party, the Coalition for Unity and Democracy
(CUD). He
was arrested at his home in Addis-Ababa Ethiopia on November 1st and
is
currently being held as a political prisoner. Professor Mesfin
suffers from
a spinal condition that leaves him in constant pain and it is
unclear if he
has access to his medication.



HOW YOU CAN HELP:



Send letters, emails, and faxes as soon as possible. Attached is a
sample
letter that includes a few major points to mention and further
information.
Feel free to copy, paste or edit what we?ve provided here. For more,
or if
you have questions, feel free to email

craig_walzer@ksg07.harvard.edu .



Also, watch this space for announcements after Thanksgiving about
programs
to be held on the issue and further activism.



Sincerely,

The Harvard Scholars at Risk Committee.



The Scholars at Risk program connects Harvard to a national network
that
defends the human rights of scholars worldwide. Each year, the
program
awards several fellowships at Harvard to scholars facing
persecution.


===== Attached letter =====
SAMPLE LETTER. You are welcome to copy, sign and send this or make adjustments as desired. Information on where to send appears at the bottom of this document.

His Excellency Meles Zenawi
Prime Minister of the Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia
Prime Minister's Office
P.O. Box 1031
Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
Fax: 011-251-1-552-020

Your Excellency:

I write to respectfully calling for the immediate release of Professor Mesfin Woldemariam, Professor Berhanu Nega, and Dr. Yacob Hailermariam, who are currently being detained along with hundreds of others in Addis Ababa.

Professor Mesfin is a respected geographer, lecturer and author of numerous books, and a prominent human rights defender. In 2002 he served on the Harvard University faculty as a visiting “Scholar at Risk” fellow. He founded the Ethiopian Human Rights Council and only recently resigned from his position there to support the Coalition for Unity and Democracy in their election campaign. He was arrested in May 2001 in connection with student demonstrations at Addis Ababa University that erupted after the professors led a panel discussion with students on academic freedom and human rights. Both he and Professor Berhanu were released after a month pending trial at a later date. The charges remain pending after repeated postponements.

Dr. Hailermariam was a tenured professor in the United States until retiring to return to Ethiopia and run for political office last year. He served with the UN as a Prosecutor in the Rwandan genocide trials in the 1990's, and more recently, as a Senior Legal Advisor in the Cameroon-Nigeria border dispute. During the political campaign earlier this year, he was selected, along with CUD Vice-Chairman Berhanu Nega, to debate the ruling party in a nationally broadcast pre-election debate focused on foreign policy and national security. Dr. Hailermariam has been held in federal prison since last Monday though no charges have been brought against him.

I am concerned about the health and well-being of Professor Mesfin, Professor Berhanu, and Dr. Hailermariam, as well as the other detainees. Professor Mesfin, who is 75 years old, has serious health conditions which require regular therapy. It is unclear if he currently has access to medical care and to his medications in detention. I respectfully request that Professor Mesfin, Professor Berhanu, Dr. Hailermariam be released. Until that is possible, I respectfully request that they and all CUD detainees be given all necessary medical care in an appropriate medical setting.

As a student at Harvard University, I can testify that the free exchange of ideas is a crucially important value of higher education and a benefit to the well-being of our democratic society. I respectfully urge Ethiopian authorities to work to improve the academic freedoms of higher education in the country, and to fully implementing Ethiopia's international human rights obligations.

Sincerely,



SEND APPEALS TO:

His Excellency Meles Zenawi
Prime Minister of the Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia
Prime Minister's Office
P.O. Box 1031
Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
Fax: 011-251-1-552-020
[Salutation: Your Excellency]

SEND COPIES TO:

Ambassador Kassahun Ayele
Ethiopian Ambassador to the United States
Embassy of Ethiopia
3506 International Dr. NW
Washington, DC 20008
Tel (202)364-1200

Ambassador Vicki Huddleston
Chargé d’Affaires
United States Ambassador to Ethiopia
Entoto Street
P.O. Box 1014
Addis Ababa, Ethiopia
Fax: 011-251-11-517-40-01
usemaddis@state.gov

Scholars at Risk
c/o New York University
194 Mercer St. Rm 410
New York, NY USA
Tel: 212-998-2179
Fax 212-995-4402
scholarsatrisk@nyu.edu

11:23 AM, November 21, 2005  
Anonymous not anonymous said...

This place Wonqville is fast turning into a regular Sodom and Gomorrah! I hope all-a-y’all heathenous souls turn into pillars of salt for gangin’ up on Assiyo like this! So unEthiopian of you people!

Lenegeru, what in Assiyo’s comment did you folks find so offensive that y’all got bent out of shape over it? I mean, all the man was doing was running an ad here to see if any of you was hiring. Shoot, if his boss the “most enlightened leaders” can run an ad here “seeking a new place to call home,” so can he!

You Wonqeeters out there need to stop being so mean and give Assiyo a tryout. If the wording of his ad is an indication, he just might make you the best zbeNa you ever had!

Besides, let’s give the man credit for knowing where to place his ad; for knowing that his chance of landing a job with one of you elitists-2-shifts-zebeNa-chauvenist-nefTeNa-amharas of Wonqville is much greater than, say, with the readership of Aiga.

Then again, perhaps the same ad placed in Aiga might get him a better job, you think? That of PM? Why not, he seems to have all the vocabulary required for prime-ministering these days, like: amhara, neftegna, spit, curse, frighten, . . .

Charity "shure" begins at home!
Hire Assiyo for "yourse" ZebeNa Astebabari Komitee!

1:15 PM, November 21, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course, one could get all psychoanalytical and say that assiyo does unfortunately represent some segment of Ethiopian society. Like the poor folks who think Ethiopia ruled the whole Middle East and is destined to do so again, or those who think "ze Americans" have always conspired against Ethiopia because they are scared of her, or those who say Amharas are bare-footed niggers, or that there was 'no such thing as ethnicity before Meles', or that Berhanu Nega is an EPRDF spy, or that every problem that they've ever had in life is "ze Amharas'" fault, or that CUD is waging an armed revolution,...!

Delusion must be an instrinsic part of Ethiopian culture.

Luckily, we at Wonqville are deluded no more. Yes, we have been freed. Amen!

http://www.savenega.org

1:35 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger yager lij said...

love your blog...keep on keep'n on!

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