Saturday, May 21, 2005

The Great Disvirgining

Is Ethiopian Politics More Unsightly Than a Middle Aged Azawint Cruising Chercher Godana in a Yellow Corvette?

Why are only insane people writing about Ethiopian politics on the internet? Wait… let me rephrase that. Why aren’t the right insane people writing about Ethiopian politics on the internet?

I’ve been asking myself that question more frequently these days as I scour the “inner-nets” trying to get information on the recent Ethiopian Elections… Man, it’s a mean, mean world out there. You’d have to practically wear a hazmat suit (topped off with your favorite gabi, of course) to just log on on some of these pages that tout intellectual discourse. I am no prude to literary viciousness. Thing is, I like intellectual viciousness served to me with a healthy side order of irony, wit and perspective (preferably by nubile young men in tight pants.) Not, as I have been loathe to discover, by aged, crotchety, very dubious “Drs” with a chip on their shoulders the size of kampolojo. You know who I’m talking about… those faceless, pretend pontificators who have not had an original thought since 1974. They serve up political insight equivalent to a super-sized Big Mac – stock full of empty calories and God-knows-what artificiality. Post consumption one is left bloated, ashamed and smelling like cheap, recycled grease.

Yes… that whirring sound you hear from your hard drive is my bitterness oozing out. Hold me.

Can I say something though? (Of course I can… it’s my damn blog!) The one exception to all this, of course is Ethiopundit. Oh, Ethiopundit… a sure sign that God doesn’t have total disdain for us… I love Ethiopundit.

I also love I am one of those Seleda fans/addicts/stalkers/wannabees, and try as I have, I have yet to convince them that THEY should be involved in elevating the political discourse on the web, just like they did for literature and guramaylaye. Well, nothing doing. They won’t touch politics, which I think sucks. But perhaps they have a point—it might explain their longevity, although their long hiatus now has me wanting to re-embrace anorexia.

Anyway, so back to my question: why aren’t more thoughtful, sharp, raconteurs writing about Ethiopian politics?

Someone who must hate me a LOT sent me this piece of intellectual hedonism that started me on this journey… looksee at this piece of crapola that is the best example of scholarly constipation I’ve read—EVER! Now what happened in our lives that this kind of writing is not hurled in front of The Supreme Court of ET Smart Asses to be made vicious fun of? And then there is Ato Tecola, purveyor of mystery meat political analysis… there are a lot more but I am fresh out of ulcers medicine and its 98 degrees out there.

So, that’s what started my skivvies bunching up… and it only got worse when I tried browsing Ethiopian discussion forums… Can we not talk about those? Please?

Bottom line: On behalf of disenfranchised ebdotch out there, enough already!

So, here I am, trying to blog… Oh, ye World Wide Web. How I love you. All my repressed anger spileth over on thine patient ears.

I am no political animal. The last time I was in Ethiopia some ballsy immigration bureaucrat type person asked me what my “gossa” was. I had to preface my answer with a dignified glare. (For his brazen question as well as for his polyester tie.) “ItoPiyawit.” He looked at me with that blank look you see in Addis whenever you pick up someone else’s litter. “Setiyo… gossa… zerish! mindnesh?” Oh, dude, it’s sooo on, I thought and was keying myself to tear him a new one when a kindly relative who was sent to chaperone my temper intervened on my behalf. This is Ethiopian politics?

I am no international aid worker/policy wonk who gets paid too much money for shuffling paperwork and nodding off at conferences about eliminating poverty—oh, you… you’ll be hearing more about that from me later!

I am just your average Ethiopian trying to understand Ethiopian politics. These blogs will be my entrée into a place that is, truly, more unsightly than an overweight, middle aged megalomaniac driving a yellow Corvette.

Welcome to my world, and these are my observations and rants, not in that particular order.

Guest bloggers welcome.


Anonymous wonkette finder said...

Hi Ms Wonkette,
I love your outrage at the outrageousness of the old borcham dr's who like to pontificate. I'll be right zer with you being outraged!

waitng to be even more outraged

10:39 PM, May 21, 2005  
Blogger MOLLA said...

what can i say! your a facken lunatic Idiot! itsnot funny to compare your owen Information Minister with that of SADAM hOsseins Info.Min.
If u want to Be Funny try something else. my friend this people still has a supporter, u might have like that of CUD'Nefetenga-right wing assholes".i think we all have to feel somekind of responsibility to safe guard the country Intact with its owen value & territory!
what you fucken bicth is trying in here creating a havok & caose,
I think we all don`t want to see the disintgration of ethiopia. so-lets all focust in to the future & take the responsibility.
Am kindly asking you to remove that Ugly pic. H.E bereket simon is beter than that of Dictator sadam!
Be wise........

7:47 AM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger ET Wonqette said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:36 AM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger ET Wonqette said...


I am all for, er, the "focust[ing] in to the future" Thank you for your brilliant insight, Oh, and thank you for asking me "kindly." You are sweet.

Selam hunilign, yene gEta.

ET Wonkette

8:40 AM, May 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Wonkette,
Such a refreshing perspective. You are great. Keep it up.

BTW pictures of yesterday's demonstration in DC are posted on and Teddy Afro's video is available on Enjoy

11:56 PM, May 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You made me smile.

2:04 AM, May 29, 2005  
Anonymous Mootii Biyyaa said...

Hi Man,

Some of us just laugh and feel so sorry for all those overwhelmed by their nafxagnaa biggotry, especially those who say they are in exile. Think for a moment that Abyssinia is just more than you think it is. Most of you consider it as your sole property leaving no room for "others." ONe of the participants on this forum shared with us how she has been treated in Abyssinia lately where she was asked her "gosa" to which she seem to repond "ethiopian". That is real shit. She must be an idiot so to speak not to understand Abyssinia's configuration. Why not say "Amhara-ethioian, tigre-ethiopian, walayta-ethiopian. What is wrong with that. The kind of ethiopia you have in mind is gone, never to return.

I don't know when this nafxagnaa mentality leaves you habashaas. Mantain the lost glory of a uni-dominant politics of Abyssinia? Forget it!! Time has come for the Southerners now! Enough is enough. YOu cannot rewind time and history. Fourteen years of Woyyaanee rule, so unwittingly, raised Abyssinia's Great Awakening for it to be never the same again. Children are learning in their own languages while citizens are at liberty to use their own languages in courts for the first time without SIMA BELEWS. Got that?! Don't try to take us back to your deplorable ancestors' age of hegemony. Even you did, you would never find us there.

A southerner Abyssinian

5:55 AM, June 01, 2005  
Anonymous Mozazeet said...

Mooti is right!

Let's start identifying our hypenated selves...I'll start: bolE-Ethiopian. i married a Dessie-Ethiopian (parents unhappy.) we intend to live in mid-west Abbysinnia (better schools.)

-Moz (aliyam MuTTi 2)

6:40 AM, June 01, 2005  
Anonymous Birraa Oolii said...

Molla cried for his Bereket. NO problem, no hard feelings. But what the hell does this "Bimbii" mean by mentioning OLF/OLNF etc? What does it do with Wonkette's messge on Berekt's picture? Man, OLF is the only genuine Oromoo group that is in existence now. Like it nor not, you will find, very soon, OLF back into Ethiopia's political landscape. Give it any name like your Woyannee lords, but the time will come when it engulfs your home like derash wonz. Who ever thought the Qimaalaam and Mujaleam Woyaanee to come into Ethiopia's history? What more for the most populous single people group in Africa? Ha ha ha! Watch your mouth man! You are surrounded by OLF. Remember what your Meles said once "oromo sifaq yaw oneg new."

Stop thinking like a dogshit!

6:36 AM, June 02, 2005  
Anonymous Amen said...

Enat Enwodishalen Berchi. I said Efffoy (like you) after reading some of your blog.

After the election most Ethiopians living in ET have acquired gastrites. This will give us some sort of relief without leaving the agenda.

11:46 AM, June 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read (or more accurately tried to read) the 'crapola' you had a link to...I don't know that I've ever seen someone write so much but say so little. Since venting seems to be the theme of the day, I hope you'll indulge me as I too partake. Is there any such thing as 'Imperial Ethiopian Hubris'? That complex and uniquely Ethiopian tendency that seems to make so many Ethiopians believe they are the one and only true authority on any subject they wish to tackle on any given day? Never mind that it might not even be remotely related to his actual field of expertise... which in the case of the writer whose piece I referred to above, is actually Accounting.

11:35 PM, November 16, 2005  

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